Friday Funnies

michael tero

Lieutenant
Joined
Mar 18, 2012
Posts
70
Likes
68
Location
eliot maine
Boat Make
25 DN KELLY
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the
pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his
eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three
more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders
and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town
is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of
the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering
why you always order three beers?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers,
and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each
other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank
as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and
soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and
source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners
would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The
bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest
of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town.
Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me
first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your
brother. You know, the two beers and all.”

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to
hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I,
meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

Happy Easter
 

Frigate

Captain
Joined
Sep 2, 2011
Posts
556
Likes
415
Location
Shinnecock Inlet, NY
Boat Make
38' Duffy/Flower
Here's one from Saturday.

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for his animal drives.

Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.

One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan having his way with a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.

Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.

As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.

In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".

Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels first."


 
Top Bottom