Happy birthday Ronnie Raider!

CaptDave

Captain
Joined
Sep 13, 2011
Posts
925
Likes
456
Location
MA
Boat Make
31' Eastern w/John Deere 6076 AFM30
Happy Birthday Ronnie,

Hope your boss at the shop gives you a day off and you are one day closer to getting that social security check. Enjoy your day and I heard the MRS was getting the new CB 42 for your gift.

Dave
 

Frigate

Captain
Joined
Sep 2, 2011
Posts
560
Likes
446
Location
Shinnecock Inlet, NY
Boat Make
38' Duffy/Flower
Ronnie, Happy Birthday and have a good 2014 season.

When you get to the half century mark you are an Old Fart In-Training. This training goes on for fifteen years. You need to get your Old Fart In-Training physical where the doctor's tell you about all the things that will stop working, work when they want to or work when you don't want them to. Just tell the doctors they are most cordially invited to go defecate in their chapeals because isn't going to happen to you.

After ten years of training this is what you have to look forward to:

Over 60 (not mph)

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 186 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Wal-Mart talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."

You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered,

"No,but I do fart a lot."

Well the end of July my training is over and I will be an Offical Old Fart. Ronnie welcome to the club!
 

Old Mud

Admiral
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Sep 9, 2012
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82
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mid coast Maine
First Name
Don
Boat Make
Ho Made

Toolate

Admiral
Joined
Aug 6, 2013
Posts
6,422
Likes
2,330
Location
Southwestern CT
First Name
Ben
Boat Make
1998 36' Sabre Express CAT 3116TA's, 2015 ROS Scotia 16 Etec 50
Ronnie, Happy Birthday and have a good 2014 season.

When you get to the half century mark you are an Old Fart In-Training. This training goes on for fifteen years. You need to get your Old Fart In-Training physical where the doctor's tell you about all the things that will stop working, work when they want to or work when you don't want them to. Just tell the doctors they are most cordially invited to go defecate in their chapeals because isn't going to happen to you.

After ten years of training this is what you have to look forward to:

Over 60 (not mph)

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 186 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Wal-Mart talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating."

You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me.They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered,

"No,but I do fart a lot."

Well the end of July my training is over and I will be an Offical Old Fart. Ronnie welcome to the club!

I aspire to not need any of the technology that surrounds me. Congratulations on your achievement. Another 25 years and I should be there.
 

Keelboater

Admiral
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Posts
6,293
Likes
4,689
Location
Clinton Harbor
Boat Make
35' Bruno & Stillman
Party Favors......................$19.95
Cake.................................$45.00
Ice Cream..........................$15.00
Beer..................................$56.00
Tax....................................$8.15
Total..................................$144.10

Thank You for shopping at Walmart

Ronnies expression: Priceless!

Happy Birthday Ol' Timer!
 

steveinak

Admiral
Joined
Sep 1, 2011
Posts
5,656
Likes
3,399
Location
Piker Central
Boat Make
31 BHM
Happy B'day Ronnie Sto Lat Sto Lat !!! thats what us polocks tell folks on their B'days it means may you live to a 100.
 
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