Keelboater
Admiral
THE CHRISTMAS GOAT STORY
By Dave Barry
I really love the holiday season because it has so many traditions. One of my most cherished traditions is telling the story of The Christmas Goat each year. I first heard this story from my Uncle Jeff, who swears it’s all quite true.
The Christmas Goat Story concerns a family that lived in Virginia some years ago. There was a mother, a father, three sons, and one daughter - the youngest child in the family. They kept a pet goat out back, and one very unusually cold Christmas Eve, the oldest son went out to feed it. But when he got out there, he made the grizzly discovery that after many good years of service it had been called up to goat heaven. “The goat was not only dead†states Uncle Jeff, “but it was frozen solid in the upright position!â€
The boy went in to tell his father. Realizing the full situation, his father became very anxious about not having his young daughter see the goat. She was extremely fond of it and he didn’t want to see her Christmas completely ruined. He couldn’t bury the goat because the ground was frozen solid like a rock, so after some thought he and his three sons decided to load it into the back of their station wagon and take it to the local animal shelter. Unfortunately, upon arrival at the shelter, the manager told them that they did not accept animals that were in the deceased mode.
So they continued to drive in circles with the dead goat, wondering how or where they could get rid of it. It was getting very late, and they began to get very desperate when the magic of Christmas brought forth the kind of miracle that restores your faith in the holiday season. They drove past a church with a life sized outdoor Nativity scene that featured LIFE SIZED ANIMALS.
“Light bulbs went off in all of their heads simultaneously as their car came to a screeching halt†states Uncle Jeff. “Then within the next few moments, the Nativity scene had acquired a new touch of realism, and the station wagon, now goat free, was homeward bound just as Santa began making his roundsâ€. So you see? It was a very Merry Christmas after all
………..well…… at least until the thaw came.
By Dave Barry
I really love the holiday season because it has so many traditions. One of my most cherished traditions is telling the story of The Christmas Goat each year. I first heard this story from my Uncle Jeff, who swears it’s all quite true.
The Christmas Goat Story concerns a family that lived in Virginia some years ago. There was a mother, a father, three sons, and one daughter - the youngest child in the family. They kept a pet goat out back, and one very unusually cold Christmas Eve, the oldest son went out to feed it. But when he got out there, he made the grizzly discovery that after many good years of service it had been called up to goat heaven. “The goat was not only dead†states Uncle Jeff, “but it was frozen solid in the upright position!â€
The boy went in to tell his father. Realizing the full situation, his father became very anxious about not having his young daughter see the goat. She was extremely fond of it and he didn’t want to see her Christmas completely ruined. He couldn’t bury the goat because the ground was frozen solid like a rock, so after some thought he and his three sons decided to load it into the back of their station wagon and take it to the local animal shelter. Unfortunately, upon arrival at the shelter, the manager told them that they did not accept animals that were in the deceased mode.
So they continued to drive in circles with the dead goat, wondering how or where they could get rid of it. It was getting very late, and they began to get very desperate when the magic of Christmas brought forth the kind of miracle that restores your faith in the holiday season. They drove past a church with a life sized outdoor Nativity scene that featured LIFE SIZED ANIMALS.
“Light bulbs went off in all of their heads simultaneously as their car came to a screeching halt†states Uncle Jeff. “Then within the next few moments, the Nativity scene had acquired a new touch of realism, and the station wagon, now goat free, was homeward bound just as Santa began making his roundsâ€. So you see? It was a very Merry Christmas after all
………..well…… at least until the thaw came. 
